Called out for the first time in two years. Not sick, just couldn't do it. Woke up and my chest was tight thinking about walking onto that unit again.
And instead of resting I spent the whole day checking the group chat to see if they were short because of me. They were. Someone got mandated. I know it's not my fault the staffing is garbage, I know that logically, but I still feel like I abandoned them.
How do you all actually take a day without the guilt eating you alive? Or does that just never go away
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Post replyThe chest tightness thing is what gets me. Is that happening every time you think about going in, or was this a one-off? Because when that started for me it wasn't really about one bad day anymore.
Gonna be the slightly unpopular take here. The guilt doesn't fully go away, and honestly I think a little of it is just caring about your coworkers. I've been the one mandated after a sick call, and I was mad at admin, not the person who called out. I'd just rather you feel guilty and still take the day than skip it to avoid the feeling.
I ignored that feeling for about eight months because I didn't want to be the one who called out. Ended up taking six weeks of FMLA instead of one day. Take the day. Also maybe look into your EAP if you have one. Mine covered a few free therapy sessions and it helped more than I expected.
Someone got mandated because management staffs to the bone with zero float coverage, not because you called out once in two years. That guilt is exactly what they're counting on.
Mute the group chat on your days off. Not just mental health days, every day off. It took me way too long to figure out that checking it is basically working unpaid.